My dearly beloved sister claims that she almost died during the recording of this episode. I know she is being dramatic and truly stretching the truth, but let me start the story from the beginning.
She had the flu, a blocked nose, and the works. On this beautiful evening, I decided to record the second episode. I asked her to help me set everything up as she was in the same space with me, so that there would be no noise. This darling sister of mine decided that she was also one of the things that should not make noise.
While I was trying to put my words together, my sister was a few feet away from me gasping for air. I am laughing because while I was recording, I heard her breathing through her mouth. I almost laughed out loud. I was thinking to myself, how can your breathing spoil my recording? Secondly, I imagine she was scared of blowing her nose and having the sound enter the podcast. However, I always clean up my audio, so that is not even an issue.
When I made a mistake while recording and wanted to change some things, she quickly stood up and fled from the room. I called for her to come back, telling her that I was almost done. The way she shouted “NO,” I could imagine it having a billion O’s and five hundred exclamation marks at the end. Even today, it still makes both of us laugh thinking about it.
In her words, she said she almost passed to glory because she was not breathing well just so I could record properly. She is such a sweetheart, right? She was also kind enough to quiz me on African countries and capitals, and it was really hilarious. I had so much fun.
I hope you enjoyed reading this little behind the scenes. You can check out my article on how I learned the African countries here and below is the full podcast, so feel free to listen. As usual, we have the show notes, highlights, and transcripts below. Have fun and take care.
Until next time, see ya.
Have you ever had a dream that felt so real it stayed with you long after you woke up?
In this episode, I talk about dreams, grief, vulnerability, emotional processing, and the strange way fear of loss can suddenly make us appreciate people more deeply.
I share two deeply personal experiences involving dreams and the passing of a family member, and how those moments shaped the way I think about emotions, crying, and vulnerability.
I also reflect on why some people struggle to show emotions openly and how being mocked for vulnerability can affect the way people express themselves.
To end the episode on a lighter note, I share my recent adventure of learning all 54 African countries and their capitals, with help from my sister.
Has your dream ever happened, and what was your reaction when it did? I’m about to share something sad.
Hey, I am Nessa Hagoz, and this is Bathroom Musings, Episode 2. Vamos.
Before I go on, I want to ask you something. How often do you dream? I dream every single time I sleep because of something I’ll talk about someday.
I’d say there have only been about three times I’ve gone to bed without dreaming.
On this particular day, I was having a terrible dream. In that dream, I was in a residential area and some people came to tell me that a family member had passed away. I broke down in tears.
Using the word “cry” is honestly an understatement. I wept bitterly. The tears were coming from the depths of my soul. I felt terrible.
Immediately I woke up, I could hear that family member walking outside, and I was suddenly filled with so much love and appreciation for them. I kept thinking about how amazing, kind, generous, and responsible they were.
I decided I was going to hug them. I almost talked myself out of it, but I did it anyway. I hugged them and went back inside.
And as I thought about it later, I asked myself something: do we really have to wait for the fear of losing someone before we appreciate them more?
I’m someone who consciously tries to appreciate the people in my life. But I’m talking about that deep, genuine feeling of appreciation that suddenly comes from the fear of loss.
Because sometimes, we don’t get another chance.
A family member of mine became very sick, and my parents had to take her to another state for treatment. That night, she called me and asked me to close her laptop. I did it and called her back to ask how she was feeling, but she didn’t answer much.
I assumed she was weak and tired, so I let her rest.
That night, I had another dream involving that same family member. We were all watching a movie together, and suddenly she said she wanted to sleep. I told her to wait until the movie ended, but she just laid down and slept.
When I woke up, I had this terrible feeling inside me that she had passed away.
Later that morning, my aunt confirmed it.
The moment she said it, I started shivering. I slumped onto the sofa and hugged myself. My teeth were chattering. I couldn’t even cry.
Everything that followed after that was emotionally exhausting, but I never cried.
And now, years later, whenever I hear her voice in a recording, I immediately feel like crying because I never properly processed the grief.
I spent so much time trying to be strong for everyone else that I forgot about myself.
I don’t see crying as weakness. I actually think crying is strength.
But there are still some people I would never cry in front of because vulnerability in front of the wrong person can become ammunition.
And that’s why some people stop showing emotions altogether.
So think about it: have you ever mocked someone for being vulnerable in your presence? If yes, then don’t be surprised if they never open up to you again.
Now, to end things on a lighter note, my adventure for the past couple of weeks was learning all 54 African countries and their capitals.
If you want to know how that went, I’ll leave the link below.
My sister also helped quiz me on them, so you’ll hear her voice during that section.
Thank you for listening.
Until next time, see ya.